Slackers
by Fox-Troting
Summary: . A 100 ways to Never Do Your Missions. XigdeM . BEING REWRITTEN.
1. Drabbles 1 to 3

**I just re-read this and it screamed BAD WRITING SKILLZ. So I'm rewriting it (No like there WAS much to rewrite... -SHOT-)**

**Read and enjoy~ Oh, I'd really like it if people gave me prompts and words 3**

**~Bex.  
**

**_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
**

**Cold**

…

Xigbar sighs; stupid Crimson Prankster just wouldn't die! He'd spent the whole day in Wonderland trying to find the _damn_ thing and when he did he got burned. _Badly_.

He crawls onto his bed, wishing that the walls weren't _so fucking white_ as he quickly slips away from the living world.

It only seems like a second before a person is pushing him over and getting in, moving closer and stealing his body heat. Damnit, Demyx is _freezing_.

**Love**

…

"Hey, Demyx," Xigbar grins, "Got any songs written for me in that folder?"

Demyx shakes his head, "Wait here." He leaves in the darkness, the smoke licking his figure.

He reappears a minute later, holding a box.

"Here," He throws the box at Xigbar, "All of them are for you."

Xigbar looks in shock, "Demyx, I was _joking_… Do I have to look at all of them?"

"Well," Demyx fakes sadness, "I put _time_ and _effort_ into them, the _least_ you can do is _read_ them, Xig."

"Kid," He states, "I hate you when you use that voice."

**Obeisance**

…

"Whatever, Old Man."

Xigbar heads snaps in Demyx's direction, "What. Did. You. Say?"

"Hmm?" Demyx calls his sitar away, "Oh, I _said_, 'Whatever, _Old Man_'."

"I'm not old!" Xigbar jumps down to tackle him, but he quickly rolls off the bed.

"Yes you are," he taunts, "You're getting old, Xigbar, can't keep up with those '_crazy kids'_."

Xigbar growled, "I'm warning you…"

"Ohh!" Demyx muttered, his voice dripping in sarcasm, "What you going to do, Old Man, gonna get you walking stick and hit me and tell me how to respect me Elders?"

"No," He frowns, "… Fish face."

Demyx's face scrunches up, than he laughs, "Hahaha! Is that the best you can do? I thought you'd have something better, O Great Number _II_."


	2. Drabbles 4 to 5

**4. Rockstar.**

The show was over. Xigbar headed his way back home; he didn't want to walk all the way around the front so he went down the side of the building with the back door. He had hoped to see the Band coming out but they must of already left. Sighing, Xigbar continued his way down the ally.

"Hey! You, girl!"

Xigbar turned around, "Huh? Me? I'm not a gi-" He stated when he saw who it was- The lead singer from the Band! The Rockstar smiled at him and began to walk towards him.

"Yeah, you," The Rockstar grinned as he stopped beside Xigbar, "You where the girl at the front, yeah? You're real pretty even though you've got small bo-" He quickly rubbed his face, moving his sandy blonde strands of hair out of face, "Uh, sorry, that was so rude of me! I mean... I'm very drunk and you're really pretty, wanna make out?"

Xigbar was still in shock that The Rockstar was even there, let along talking to him, let alone asking him something. The blued-eyed Rockstar waited for an answer, realizing the blonde had asked him a question Xigbar quickly nodded at him. It couldn't have be anything bad, what The Rockstar asked him, (_Why was he so close?) _Could it have been-?

The Rockstar was_ kissing_ him.

_The Rockstar _was kissing him.

The Rockstar was kissing _him._

Oh God.

---

"How was the show, dear?" His mom called from the sitting room.

"I made out with a Rockstar."

"That's nice, Xigbar."

_____________________________________________________________________

**5. Left.**

"Remind me _why_ I'm doing this?" Myde mumbled as he sat down again.

"Because," Braig folded his arms, "Ansem's having a Ball and you're the only one who I can go to without paying."

Myde rolled his eyes, "Gee, and here I was thinking you enjoyed my company…"

Pushing himself up, Myde grabbed Braig's hands, "If you get this wrong one more time I'm giving up completely, and you'll have to tell Ansem that' you've broken your foot."

Braig nodded, "Right."

"Okay, now, you remember where your hands go, yeah? Good. Let's start."

They began to dance in the empty hall once more. Myde, with experience, danced with ease while Braig was fumbling with his feet, stepping on Myde's and he was really close to him, I mean really _really_ close to My-

"_OW_! Braig, watch your feet!"

"Sorry!"

_____________________________________________________________________

**Notes: **Took me ages to think up those words! I'm so lame! XD Anyway, I got 'Rockstar' from the song by Ke$ha; 'I Made Out With A Rockstar.' A very catchy song.

And left because… Well. Yeah, I've got nothing xD

If you've got any words or prompts, please tell me, I'll be so thankful!


	3. Drabbles 6 to 11

**6. Layabout**

Demyx groaned, grabbing onto the sheets, "_Noooooooooo_! I don't want to get up! Go away! Xiiigggg_bbbbaaarrrr_!!"

Xigbar pulled him out of the bed, "Demyx, get up. Stop being immature."

Demyx rolled himself up in sheets with only his head and shoulders were showing, "_You're _the immature one, pulling me out of bed, and it's a _Saturday_," He muttered, "I hate you."

"Mmmhhmm. Sure you do, you'd better be dressed when I come back in," Xigbar glared at Demyx, "I swear, if you go back to bed I will shot you."

Pause.

"I'm not kidding."

He shut the door.

---

He left him for five minutes. _Five minutes_. And he was already back asleep. Xigbar stormed over to Demyx, fully intending to hit him. He ripped the sheets off him and was abou-

Demyx was dressed, decently and everything. Xigbar sighed, kissing him on the forehead, he than pushed Demyx onto the floor again.

"What was that for!? I'm _dressed_!"

__________________________________________________________________

**7. Halloween**

"This place is fucked up, man." Demyx muttered, folding his arms.

"How come?" Xigbar questioned, looking up at the taller teen. Demyx looked different here, his hair was messier and spikier and his eyes looked darker. He was covered in scales and where those _gills_? In fact, Demyx looked like he had been drowned and pulled back up and pushed through a hedge.

"Well," He began, "They're all so fucking preppy happy yet dark and scary. They like the Heartless, and they have a bathtub that _walks_-"

"What are you anyway?"

"Hnn?" He glanced over himself, "…Some sort of sea monster. Why, jealous?" He smirked.

Of all monsters Xigbar could have been… Why was it one _lacking a body_?

___________________________________________________________________

**8. Disgusting**

"Here, it's for you,"

"Thanks," Demyx took the sky-blue ice cream from the Freeshooter, "This looks… tasty?" He muttered, checking it over.

Xigbar had already shoved his ice cream into his mouth, "Are you oin' ohh eet it oor wha?"

Demyx looked at him and quickly shoved the sea-salt ice cream into his mouth.

Xigbar took the half eaten popsicle out from his month and smirked at Demyx, "See? Isn't that bad, is it?"

Demyx started chocking.

**____________________________________________________________________**

**9. Blame**

"…Do you blame me?" Xigbar asks him one day.

Demyx raised his eyebrows, glancing down at the black-and-grey haired man. "Blame you? For what?" He asked.

"For this."

"Oh," Demyx shook his head, "Nah, man, why would I do that?" He leaded over the railing, "No need too, anyway, if you didn't balls up the whole heart thing we'd of never meet."

"Demyx," He looked over at Xigbar, "…You make everything sound so… _wonderful_."

"No need to be sarcastic. That's what happened anyway, right? Messed up The big experiment, yeah?" He saw the look on Xigbar's face, "…Whatever. Doesn't matter."

_________________________________________________________________

**10. Sinful**

Sloth, Greed, Wrath, Lust, Envy, Gluttony, Pride.

Demyx is slothful. Xigbar is prideful.

Demyx is greedy. Xigbar is wrathful.

They both were envious of people with Hearts.

Them were gluttonous in the fact that they both wanted _more_.

They both lusted for each other because Nobodies can't _feel_ love. Both are already living a life full to the brim of sin. So why not be sinful together?

**_______________________________________________________________**

**11. Addiction **

Myde took a drag. He glared at the smaller man beside him, "Don't say anything," he warned, "I know all the 'it'll kill me' crap."

"Why would I say that?" Was Braig's curt reply, "You're going to do that one way or the other."

He paused and looked at the blonde man, "…I'm dying for a fag, have any left?"

"Here," Myde took one last drag from his cigarette before handing it over to Braig, "Have mine. That's what couples do, yeah? Share things?"

"I dunno," He blew out the smoke, "I suppose. But I think they share better things than cigarettes."

"But we don't have anything better." Pause, "Don't smoke all of it. That's the last one."

Braig took another drag, "Too late."

_________________________________________________________________________

**Notes:** I don't know where these ones came from, just all came to me at once. Anyway, enjoy! If you've got a word or prompt you'd like to see, just tell me and I'll be glad to use it! (Seriously people, I running out of ideas here! D: lol) Oh, and by the by, reviews are real nice. So thanks to everyone who did! :D


	4. Drabbles 12 to 14

**12. Family**

Xigbar sank lower into his seat, if that was possible. Why wouldn't they stop staring at him? He hadn't done anything wrong. Yet the two blondes continued to stare, Xigbar was seriously wondering how he wasn't dead. Least they hadn't started to ask all those awkward questions yet.

"So, Demyx," The one with the antennae questioned, "How long have you and…" She paused and glared at him, "Rigbar been dating?"

Xigbar resisted the urge to bang his head off the table and hide underneath it.

Demyx glared at her, "It's _Xig_bar, Larxene, not Rigbar." He hissed at her, "2 and a half years, I _told_ you that."

Larxene just pretended not to notice her brother glaring at her and found her fingernails much more interesting than what was going on, she looked back at Demyx and muttered, "Why? Are we ruining your little _date_, Demmy?"

Demyx cringed at the nickname but muttered back, "Yes, yes you are! Get out!"

Larxene ignored him again and turned to the other, more lightly haired blonde, "What do you think about… _this_, Luxord?"

Luxord sipped his… tea? Yes, that was tea he was drinking. Well, Demyx did say his older brother was a bit odd after he lived in England.

Demyx hissed at them before Luxord could speak, "Be quiet! Why are you even here anyway? This was supposed to be just Xigbar and me!"

Luxord put his tea down and smiled at Xigbar, "We need a family conversation, do you mind…?"

This was translated into: We hate you. And now we're going to bitch about you to Demyx and make him dump your sorry ass. And hopefully you get run over by a car on your way out. We hope we never see you again, scar face.

Xigbar couldn't get out of there fast enough.

______________________________________________________________

**13. Chalkboard**

Demyx glared at him, "Don't even joke about those things. It's not funny and I'm not _ever_ going to dress up as a schoolgirl, you pedo." He got up and walked away, "Don't even watch me walk away, you sick, sick person."

Xigbar was about the answer when the dirty blonde continued, "I wouldn't look good. You've got the hair and shape for it." He quickly walked out the door.

______________________________________________________________

**14. Dog**

Myde backed into the wall as the small puppy barked playfully at him.

The raven haired man frowned, "Don't you like her? I thought you would… It reminded me of you."

Myde stared open jawed at him, "How did that… That thing remind you of me!? It'll bite me! Get it away!"

Braig picked the puppy up, "Aww," He began in a silly, honey-covered voice, "Don't mind Myde, he's just scared of you, but I don't know how!"

Myde looked between laughing, being disgusted and running in fear. He chose disgusted, "Don't ever talk like that again," He muttered, "You sound so… un-Braig like."

Braig looked back up at the blonde, "What should we call her?"

Myde looked like he saw a ghost, "We're… keeping it?"

Braig nodded and looked back to the wiggling dog in his arms, "Yeah, I bought it so I'm going to keep it, any ideas?" He moved his arms, "How about 'Sandy'?"

The former rockstar glared at the golden puppy, "I think you should call it 'Ugly'."

Braig frowned at him and turned his attention back to the barking dog, "Sandy it is. I have to get it a collar and a bowl and... What else do dogs need?"

Myde was still glaring at the happy Sandy, "…I'm still calling it 'Ugly' you know."

Braig ignored him.

_____________________________________________________________

**Notes: **Another batch finished! For no. 14, I've just always pictured Demyx hating dogs. …Maybe Ugly will make another appearance! Poor Myde, attention seeker xD

Anyway, if you've got a word of prompt, I'd be really happy if you gave me it! I'm running out of ideas here! D:

Reviews are cool, so thanks to everyone who has! :D


	5. Drabbles 15 to 18

**15. Plans**

"Hnnn?" Myde muttered, "_Why_ do I stay with an old man like you? Braig, it's way too early for this shit."

They were having breakfast together for once. Usually Braig was already gone to Ansem's Castle before Myde woke up. And Myde waking up before three o'clock was a surprise.

Myde continued, "Wanna know why?" He paused, lifting up his coffee, "…I plan to be like one of those women on those shows who poisons their husbands for their munny. And than I can met a handsome detective and lie like hell and flutter my eyelashes in innocent."

Braig stared at the sleepy blonde.

Myde continued, taking a sip of coffee, "And than there will be whole case of Who-Done-It? And I will blame the shady looking Guard. Who always seemed to want your job…"

The man took another glup of coffee, "And than with your millions under my belt I can live the rest of my life on a beach."

Braig continued to stare at the now coffee-hyper blonde.

"And that," Myde said, placing his mug on the table, "Is my epic plan."

Braig shrugged and began to eat his toast again, "Whatever you want," he paused in the middle of biting, "…But don't _you _have more munny locked away than _me_?"

The blonde stopped mid drinking, "…God damnit, Braig. My plan is _magical_! It will not _fail_!"

"I think you've had too much coffee." The older man replied.

Myde gripped onto the mug tighter, "If you take away my coffee I'll hold out on you for a week."

* * *

**16. Water**

"Ugh," Demyx groaned, "I hate Heartless missions, _and_," His head jerked in the direction of the smaller blonde who was examining his new-found fin, "Being paired off with Roxas. Saix must _hate_ me or something."

There was a deep chuckle from Xigbar, "What, me being here doesn't make up for that?"

Demyx slung his arm over the smaller man's shoulders, "Of course, Xiggy!" The blonde sighed, "It's just, Mr. Clueless over there will stop us from having some _fun_."

Roxas waved franticly at the two to come over, shouting something about finding the Heartless. Xigbar could _hear_ Demyx's brain ticking away.

"Nah, Roxas," He yelling back, " We'll get the Heartless at the Castle! Okay?"

Roxas grinned and gave them a thumbs up. Before pointing towards the caverns. Demyx leaned his head on Xigbar's shoulder, "Stupid idiot…" He muttered, he than called back, "Alright, we'll be over there! _Not_." He mumbled the last part as Roxas swam away.

"C'mon," The blonde grabbed his hand and smiled, "Let's go and have some fun, before he comes back."

Xigbar paused before swimming along beside Demyx, smirking before asking, "…How do mermaids have sex?"

Demyx grinned, before tugging him along to a cave. Xigbar quickly pulled him close and locked their lips together.

They never found out though.

* * *

**17. Seduction **

Demyx slung his arms around Xigbar's neck. "Come to bed~" He purred into his ear, "I'm all lonely and cold without you~"

Xigbar paused in the middle of writing, "If you're trying to seduce me it's _really_ not working."

Demyx huffed in response, "Better than you're cheesy one-liners."

"Cheesy one-liners that you adore," Xigbar continued writing, "Don't even deny it."

Demyx sighed, "Tell you what," He muttered darkly, "Getting out of a warm bed wasn't worth it." He stooped down his head to kiss the older man, "Just come to bed soon, alright?"

* * *

**18. Cheese **

"…Cheese? Are you sure?" Braig asked as he turned towards the blonde who was rummaging through the small, broken fridge.

"Yep," Myde replied, continuing to search the fridge, "Unless you want gone-off apples?"

Braig pondered, "How gone off?"

Myde turned to face him, holding the apples, which were a sickening blue colour and fuzzy from the mould, "Oh, by two years, perhaps?" He grunted as he kicked open the bin, "…Have to take the bin out soon…"

"You were supposed to go shopping today," Myde muttered as he bent down to switch on the television. He jumped down on the sofa, not caring about how it sagged in protest; he clicked the remote at the screen. Nothing happened.

Myde growled, "Stupid thing, _work_ for once!"

Myde clicked at the tv furiously as Braig sat down at the other side of the sofa, "Sorry," he muttered at the screen, "I was working overtime."

The blonde moved up on the sofa, "It's okay. We can always do it later, and besides," He grinned at the older man, "We always have cheese." He took the cheese out of his pocket and began eating it.

Braig half glared at the younger man, "Don't I get any? I'm _starving_, Myde."

"Mayyybbbbbeeeeee…" Myde's grin became devilish, he continued in a singsong voice, "But you have to come and ge-"

Braig pounced.

* * *

**Notes: **A Big Thanks to **-lux-light-hell- **for **Seduction** and **Cheese.** I never would of thought of them! Ohhohohoh~ I love the way Roxas' thinks Demyx is an idiot in _Days_… I think Demyx feels the same way about him! Sorry this batch took long, school and homework are just being a pain in the ass.

Reviews are awesome, so thanks to all that did! :


	6. Drabbles 19 to 22

**19. Vacation**

"Myde," Braig muttered, as he glared at the surfboard in his hands, "Please don't tell me you thought I liked surfing because of my accent."

Myde widened his eyes, "Braig! Of course not!" He paused and gestured to his chest; "You cut me deep, man,_ real deep_. I know you better than that, babe!"

But as Braig was leaving, he heard dark muttering, "The minute I get a hold of Aeleus… I _swear_ I'll kill him!"

-----

**20. Hero**

The hideout was in ruins. The wood soaked up the water, the ground was soaking, furniture had been washed out and puddles were scattered everywhere. From outside, soft music stopped and a hooded figure dressed in black jumped into the room.

The figure shook his head disbelievingly.

Xigbar smiled anxiously.

"How," The figure began, "How did this- How did you get…? How the hell did a bunch of _kids_ _tie you up_?"

Pause.

"They came up on my right side, took my guns, over twenty of them." Xigbar grunted, "Had to fight them off tooth and claw. I nearly got them but they called in for their ringleader."

"Uh huh, _sure,_ Xiggy. Whatever you say there. I believe ya man," The man slipped off his hood, relieving a boyish face and dirty blond hair styled up into a Mohawk, before stooping down to unite his companion, "And here I was thinking that Saix just wanted me to go away," He sniggered, "Didn't know you'd _really_ be in the deep end for once and _by a bunch of kids dressed as animals_. Oh, today is a good day."

Xigbar didn't bother to reply; instead he chose to glare at the wall.

Demyx looked up from the knot, "What? Don't tell me your going to have a bitchfit over this," He rolled his eyes, "I'm not going tell anyone."

Xigbar raised an eyebrow, "Really? Even I wouldn't pass that up." He paused, "…Thanks, I guess."

The blond continued as he pulled the knot open, "Anyway, I'm the only one who should be allowed to see you squirm."

"Really nice, kid, really nice to know."

---

**21. Flight**

"So, for the whole '_happy thoughts_' thing, what did you think about?"

"Oh," Xigbar shrugged as they flew over the empty streets, "Happy stuff, like guns and bunnies and all that happy crap," He paused and looked over to the blond, "You?"

An evil grin suddenly snaked across Demyx's face as they passed Big Ben, "Oh, I was thinking '_Happy_' stuff alright…"

He raised an eyebrow, "Why are you smiling like tha-?" Xigbar's eye widened, "…Tell me you're not thinking what I think you're thinking?"

The Nocturne just continued to smile.

Xigbar grimaced, "You're a pervert."

----

**22. Eleven**

"Y'know, '_Up To Eleven'_? '_The loudest Rock Band In The World'_?"

Braig pulled a face, "What are you on about?"

Myde flailed his arms, "You know, '_This is Spinal Tap'_? The film?"

Braig frowned, "I've never heard of it."

The musician sighed and began to list movies, using his fingers to help, "Groundhog Day? Breakfast at Tiffanies? The Breakfast Club? Medusa: Dare to be Truthful? Back to the Future? Wayne's World? When Harry met Sally? The Terminator? Big? Ghostbusters? A Nightmare on Elm Street? A fish called Wanda? Who framed Roger Rabbit?"

Myde paused in this list of movies, looking up at the older male to see any signs of remembrance to them. He looked more confused than ever.

The bond man sighed, rested his forehand in this hand, "The little Mermaid?"

Braig grinned, "I've seen that one."

"Braig, where have you _been_ the last couple of decades?"

* * *

**Sorry for the lack of updates, I've very busy with exams and school and Christmas. Plus, I'll always leave these for a while, come back, cringe and edit. It's a endless cycle :\**** So, read and review, hope you liked them! And if you've got a word, I'd really like to hear it :D**


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